Aug 9, 2008

Vampyres of Hollywood by Adrienne Barbeau and Michael Scott

Vampyres of Hollywood. St Martin's, August 2008.

When this book arrived in the mail, and I saw that mid-list actress Adrienne Barbeau was one of the authors, my first thought was a has-been decides, when all else fails write a book. I was certain I would hate it, and was pleasantly surprised it didn't happen.

The story begins with the gruesome murders of three Hollywood A-listers. What the police don't know is that each one is a vampyre, and they are all the progeny of the actress and high rolling producer Ovsanna Moore. Her specialties are horror movies which often focus on the nasty doings of the undead.
She introduces herself thusly. "I am Ovsanna Hovannes Garabedian, Chatelaine of the Clan Dakhanavar of the First Bloodline. I am full born, not made, pureblood, able to create other in my image. .. But you know me as Ovsanna Moore, writer and star of seventeen block buster horror films, several less than successful ones, and a few that went straight to DVD." Ovsanna is convinced a vampyre hunter has come to town but is unsure who or why.

Hunky, veteran Beverly Hills detective Peter King is assigned to investigate the murders. To call him cynical would be an understatement. "Greed and stupidity. That's how most criminals are caught. Forget the high-tech CSI/SVU stuff - Vincent D'Onofrio kneeling on the floor to chart the exact trajectory of a quarter-inch blood spatter on a burned-out halogen bulb found only on one corner of the Cloister. That kind of stuff helps keep Dick Wolf's research staff busy, but it's not the truth."

Of course Peter has no idea Hollywood is literally crawling with vampyres and his main contact, scream queen Ovsanna Moore, is leader of the pack. Eventually he figures it out but by then Peter and Ovsanna have become quite close. Together they make love and solve the crime.

Real life thespian Adrienne Barbeau has used her insider knowledge to paint a picture of a Hollywood chock full of immortal blood-suckers while normals go about their business unaware. By no stretch of the imagination is this great literature, but it is entertaining enough to make good beach reading.

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