Sharon Ashwood today is The Dead Guy. He has a few things on his mind that he would like to share with all of us.
He also asked me to remind you that Sharon is offering one of her books in the Dark Forgotten series - the most recent being Unchained: The Dark Forgotten - to a lucky reader. [See details at end of post]
Thank you so much for your ongoing interest in all it means to be one of the undead.
Let me tell you, it’s hard to be a vampire. I mean, think about it. Setting aside the inconvenience of trying to get your driver’s license renewed when you’re a corpse during government office hours (and you thought your photo was bad), there’s just no living up to human expectations.
It’s not enough to be a creature of the night anymore. You have to be a drop-dead gorgeous, leather-wearing, muscle-bound demigod. Otherwise, the snack bar is closed. If you’re an average specimen more suited to the library than the nightclub, you’ve got serious problems, bud.
Nope, the existence of the damned and broody is no picnic. And there’s no relief from the moment I rise from the grave at dusk. My eyes are barely open, I’ve got morning (evening?) breath and coffin hair, and there’s some dude with a stake trying to kill me. Slathered in garlic, if you can believe it. I mean, hello? You think I’m scared of killer lasagne or something? After I’ve finally got rid of him, it takes half a bottle of Febreeze to get the smell out of the crypt.
If Stake Guy wasn’t bad enough, there’s some babe in a nightie who wants forbidden vampire love. That sounds great on the surface, having all these groupies, but what do I say once the biting it over? Have a nice night? They’re just after the image, not the real me. Do they once offer to stay and cuddle? No. I barely get my teeth into them, and they’re texting all their friends about what a wild date they had.
Without the fangs, I’d be just another guy. It’s just not fair. Hated the rat race. Hate the bat race even more.
At least Ashe Carver, the heroine of the latest Dark Forgotten novel, sees the real me. She’s a kick-butt monster slayer. Sure, she’s a mom and now she works in a library, but she has the motorcycle and the weapons and hangs out with a dude who’s a guard at the local supernatural prison. Get her on your case and your unlife is over. None of this “bite me, baby, ooo, you’re just like Edward!” crap.
So what if her feelings for me are unmitigated loathing. She slays only the best. With her on my trail, I feel like a real monster. Validated. Manly.
Yeah, so, I have to take my strokes where I can, even if it’s from a blond chick sticking a piece of wood into my heart. Like I said, it’s not an easy existence. Be an accountant. Be a cowboy. Don’t be a vampire. The media spin is a lie.
And now that I’m on Ashe’s radar, I’ll be calling my travel agent, and booking a one-way trip to the other side of the world. Honest communication is great, but I think I’ll take my inner Dracula and beat feet. I mean, check out her advice column. That’s one serious slayer.
Gotta go. Good luck with your blog, and thank you again.
The Dead Guy
Sharon is offering a copy of one book - Winner's Choice - from the Dark Forgotten series
*The Dead Guy's unlife is obviously weighing him down. So, dear readers, how can we help him?
Give The Dead Guy one piece of advice (use your imagination) - 1 chance
You may also
*Link to this contest on any of the social network sites, including Twitter, or your own web page. Let me know the url: One chance for each link.
*If you are a Google follower (see sidebar on right): One chance
*If you are a member of the PVN Facebook page: One chance
*If you are an email subscriber: One chance
Contest is open WORLWIDE!
Contest ends July 20, 2010
The Dark Forgotten Series:
Excerpt from Unchained.
Link to book video